


The Forbidden.

by Agentrogers17



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Jealous Steve Rogers, Past Steve Rogers/Reader - Freeform, Protective Avengers, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6570133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader and Steve were a couple. It has been more than a year since their break up. While reader was away for that time Bucky was found and he was recovering. When reader returned she met Bucky and they started being friends, close friends. So now Steve is jealous and Bucky can't help falling in love with the reader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Million Years Ago.

"(Y/n)!" I heard a familiar voice shout my name and noticed a hot red head running to me. I couldn't stop the smile reaching my lips.

"Hey Nat." I said when she jumped on me and put her arms around my body.

"God I missed you. How long has it been a year?"

"A little bit more then it. But we can call it a year I think."

"So..."

"So?" I asked. I had few ideas about what she wanted to know but I didn't wanted to just guess and give her more than she wanted.

"You know... Where have you been? What have you done?"

"Just few missions. Long term ones. I was at Moscow for some time then Oslo and Rio. About HYDRA about secret bad guys that kind of shit."

"Is there any reason you never called or let us know you were okay?" 

"Missions were super secret."

"Or you didn't want to see Captain."

"We are over Nat. And it doesn't matter anymore. He broke my heart I broke his. This is it."

"You were more like broken than breaker."

"I don't know. I learned to not think not care about it. I wish him the best."

"(Y/n)... Maybe you two shoyld talk and try to fix things?"

"No... It has been a long time. Too long. And the thing we have is too broken to fix. We can't. We were together a million years ago. Now he is my team mate nothing less nothing more."

"About team. We have new people."

"Yeah?"

"You know Bucky Barnes a.k.a. Winter Soldier. Steve found him and he is with us since then. He is still healing but he is part of team."

"I guess Steve was happy to find his friend."

"It was hard at start it still is but... He is here so it will be okay."

"How did you knew I was coming any way?" I asked.

"Fury told me. He thought that at least one of us should be with you about this not calling not writing things."

"I knew he liked me." I said.

"Or didn't want you dead?"

"Yeah maybe that."

***

"Oh my God! Isn't it (y/n)? Our gang member which we saw a year ago last time? Who never informed us about anything and never answered our phones. Hello runaway bride! When are you leaving and returning some years later?"

"I am not leaving Tony. Nice to be back."

"Sure darling. You look hot." He said putting an arm around me shoulder and giving me a half hug. I put my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

"Thanks Stark you do too."

"So... You back."

"Yeappp."

"Good. I was missing you." 

"Where is everybody?" I asked. Natasha was preparing some coffee. 

"Barton and Wilson are at a mission and I think Capsicle is with Robocop."

"Clint and Sam will be back soon. Hill said they finished the mission they are on their way back." Nat said.

"Birds are flying home." Tony said. I gave him a smile. And then I saw them. Steve was entering the kitchen area with a tall dark handsome dude. And the look on his face was priceless when he saw me.

"(Y/n)..." he said. I gave him an unsure weak smile. "You are back."

"Yeah." And there was an awkward silence. Steve was looking at my shoulder I was looking at his neck. We were looking everywhere but at each others eyes. Natasha, Tony and the tall dark handsome were watching us. None of us had any ideas about what to do.

"So. (Y/n) is back and in team again. (Y/n) this is Bucky, Bucky this is (y/n). The ninja like one." Said Tony to save us from this awkward moment. More like awkward 10 minutes.

"Nice to meet you." I said finally looking in his blue grey eyes. 

"Nice to meet you too." He said giving me a half smile. A sexy half smile. Damn the dude was hot. Too hot. And my ex boyfriend Captain America which is by the way this hot dude's best friendz for over than 80 years standing right beside him. Damn. I felt the drama which was on its way. Damn.

And suddenly I felt a pair of strong arms lifting me and hugging me. Thor. That could be only him.

"Lady (y/n)! I haven't seen you in ages. I missed you my lady." He said. I hugged the big guy back and laughed with him.

"I missed you too Thor." I said giving him a big kiss on the cheek. He put me down and put his arm around my waist for me to balance myself.

"How were your missions? Did you win all your battles?"

"Of course I did. You know me I hardly lose."

"You never lose my lady. You are always victorious."

***

All night we talked. Steve was watching me and Bucky too but while Steve didn't hide his glares Bucky did. He was trying to be less noticable as possible. 

"Was a good day one huh?" Natasha asked. We were laying on my bed together.

"Yeah I missed you guys."

"Steve was silent."

"If I was him in this situation I would be too."

"Bucky was watching you."

"Maybe Steve told him who I am? And they have a bro code so he hates me."

"Come on (y/n). I saw his eyes he was fascinated by you. There was no hate it was curiosity maybe excitement."

"Nat..."

"I never saw him that interested in a person since his first day. He never looks at people. He watches walls or floor but since the moment he saw you his eyes never left you."

"I don't know."

"You two will be friends I can feel it."

"Okay I need to sleep. I can feel it." She gave me an eye roll and said good night before leaving to her room.

And I slept wondering what the fuck was going to happen.


	2. Couldn't Stop Dreaming Your Eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After hours of trying to sleep and giving up Reader goes to find some snacks. She finds them with one hot super soldier. But is this the right super soldier?

Damn. I loved sleeping and I had no idea what my brain had against it so much. Okay ot was a hard day. No it was a hard week. Okay my ex boyfriend was running away from me with all he got. And his super hot best friend was watching me with his ocean deep blue grey eyes. And those looks were giving me hard time. But I was in my room. My sweet room. My comfortable room. Safe room. Why couldn't I sleep. I needed that sleep. I had to sleep. But noo... According to my brain I had to think about Bucky and then regret about it and think about Steve. Then about Steve's ass. Pretty firm ass. And then think about Bucky's ass. And try to decide whose was better. And then regret again and remember who they were and who I was. Where we were. How good was sex with Steve. How good could it be with Bucky. Maybe both of them a onc... Hell no! This was too much. Too fucking much. Oh lord.

After giving up on sleep I got up and went to kitchen. Maybe I could eat something. Tony had best snacks ever. I just needed to find out where they were. I went to kitchen thinking more about snacks and less about super soldiers and their body parts. But with my luck object of my desire, well one of them, was sitting at the kitchen and guess who it was.

"Oh." He said looking at me with his suprised baby blue eyes. He must be feeling more unlucky then I did because come on I was here for a week and he was hiding from me for a week.

"Hey Steve." I said. Trying my best to sound polite and nice.

"Hello (y/n). Couldn't sleep?"

"No. And I decided to find something to eat. You?"

"I needed to think."

"Oh. I won't be disturbing you. I will be gone as fast as I find something."

"No. You won't be disturbing. You never were. Nat prepared some vanilla chia pudding with chocolate. I know you like chia and vanilla." He said opening the fridge and leaning to it. His ass. I am telling you. That ass. Okay I need to focus on food not his delicious ass. Delicious food. No ass. Don't think about ass. 

"Here he said." Giving me the pudding. Poor guy I was trying to stop all the dirty images in my brain and he was trying to feed me. Feed me. Him. Feeding me. God!

"I should go. Thanks for the pudding." I said and I felt his big warm hand on my arm.

"Please stay." He said. The thing about Steve is even if you dated him and broke up even if that wasn't in the best way you can't say no to him. Because you know it wasn't his fault and he would never hurt you. Even think about it.

"It was a weird week huh?" He asked. To himself more than me. "I wanted to talk with you. Say your welcome properly but... Everyone looking at us like we will start fighting or something like that. It made it hard. And..."

"You were running away from me Steve."

"No. It wasn't from you. I didn't wanted them to look at us, at you like that. I know the pressure and I didn't want you to feel it like that. I didn't want to be the reason for that."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything darling. Really. I just want you to know I missed you. Very much. And it is nice to have you here in team again. It wasn't okay without you. And welcomr back." He said putting his strong arms around my body. I felt his smell hitting me and it made my head spin. God how much I missed him. Lord. I let him hold me against his strong body and felt his warmth.

"It is nice to be back." I whispered. He kissed the top of my head and said:

"Good that you couldn't sleep doll. I needed to tell you this with no stranger eyes on us. Good night." He said giving me one last hug and a kiss on my temple.

I still felt dizzy after he left. God. What was happening right now? What were we? Me and Steve? Friends? Ex lovers? Lovers? Shit. Shit. Shit. I had no freaking idea what was going on with my life!

***

"Good morning." I said walking in kitchen. Last night got me more confused than ever and I slept for 3 or 4 hour not more. I was tired, confused and anxious.

"You look like hell, cherry." Said Tony. 

"I couldn't sleep. Give me some coffee and be quiet."

"Temper we have." He said. I looked around Nat, Steve and Sam were no where to be seen. And Bucky was watching me. God damn him for being this handsome. It was 7 in the morning and he was looking like a dream come true.

Tony gave me some coffee and pancakes. I was feeling better after the third coffee. 

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"Nat and Sam have a mission. And Steve has a major meeting at London." Clint answered. 

So Steve wasn't around it gave me some time to think. To make up my mind. Yesss!

After the training I went to media room to watch some episodes of The Librarians. And in the middle of the second episode I felt someone stting next to me. I thought it was Thor maybe Tony but when I saw Bucky I was just Wow.

"Hey. Can I hang out with you?" He asked.

"Yes. Sure. Why not?" Well you are the best friend of my ex which said he was happy to see me last night and you are so hot. Olso I am crushing on both of you. Well I loved Steve and I still have problems with my breathing when he is around and those feeling are happening when you are close too so... Sure lets hang out!

"We haven't talked a lot."

"Yeah it was a... Busy week."

"Sure. So (y/n), I heard a lot about you and I want to listen to your story."

"Well I was an agent at first and then some secret guys kidnapped me and did experiments on me. I becamr stronger and faster. After that I ran away and became an Avenger."

"You weren't here for a year..."

"I needed a break."

"Why?"

"Well... Cap and I were a thing and..."

"Doll I know. Steve told me about that. But he never told why you left?"

"I really needed that break."

"Why?"

"It was a hard break up. Not because of Steve or anything. Just things weren't as they supposed to be. Like we were having a hard time in our relationship and there was a girl. She was hitting on Steve and Stevr was too polite to tell her get the fuck out. And it was making me jealous and angry. So one night I left. Telling Steve I couldn't do it anymore."

"You were jealous of Steve? Damn. He is a one lucky bastard." Did he just... No way. Noooo way. He just... Daamn.

"This is my story Bucky. Tell me yours. The part you came here."

"Steve found me. I had rehab. And now I am here."

"Better than mine."

"I guess." 

I watched his face carefully. He looked good. Fresh shaven and showered. I could feel his intoxicating smell.

"Want to eat a dinner with me tonight?" He asked. Oh my god. OH MY GOD.

"Yeah sure. Your place or mine?" 

"Mine doll. I will be cooking."

"Can't wait."

"See you there doll." He said and kissed my hand before he left. I was watching my hand. Where he kissed. Damn. Damn. Damn.

And before I could imagine more I heard Clint:

"You are playing a dangerous game (y/n)."

"What?"

"Both super soldiers are interested in you. The way they look at you. They want you. And you are not stopping them. Someone will get hurt out of this."

"Clint..."

"Be careful sugar. I just want you to be okay. And here."

"Nothing will happen."

"Just be careful."

"I will be."


	3. I Could Show You Incredible Things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with Bucky and something more.

Was I over excited? Yes. Could I sot still? No. Was Bucky hot? Hot damn. Was Steve his best friend? Yes damn it. Was I falling for Barnes? Maaaaybe. Did I still love Steve? Maaaaybe. Was I confused? Too much. 

This was what I was thinking while I was trying to find something to wear. I had to look casual but also hot. And casual and hot at the same time was not a easy thing. I couldn't let him know that I really did think about that dinner all day long. And also somehow I had to hide my excitement. I was thinking to wear skinny jeans with a comfortable shirt. Give him some nice view and something for imagination. I could do some make up. Mascara, a nude lipstick and some creamy eye shadow. And perfume. Chanel Chance or maybe Dior? God. I couldn't even remember the last time I was so nervous about a guy. Sure the last guy that got my heart beat faster was Steve who still was pretty damn good at it. And Steve was a guy who would never let you be stressed about anything. He didn't need to calm you down or anything he just had that effect. But Bucky Barnes was a one big mystery. I didn't know what we were I didn't know what we going to be. I had no idea what to expect. 

And also part of my mind was still focused on Captain America. He was perfect, always and he would be perfect forever but... But the last time didn't workout. 

So there were two choises in front of me. One, chose Steve. Good old Steve. Try to start over and work everything out that didn't work last time. Two, go to Bucky and start something new interesting. Or maybe three Bucky and Steve at the same ti.... No. NO! It was not possible. I could not do that. No.

So I was confused and in love. And it was too damn hard being in love but not knowing with whom.

***

"I was getting nervous doll." Bucky said looking all over my body with no need of hiding it.

"Why is that soldier?" I asked giving him a smirk.

"That a pretty gal like you would not give me a chance."

"You deserve all the chances Barnes." I said. He was looking at me with those piercing grey-blue eyes. Damn those eyes for being this gorgeous.

"I promised you a dinner doll." He said and put his human hand around my waist guiding me to his kitchen. He was holding me closer than a friend would. But lets accept Bucky was no friend. Not just a friend at least. We had something. I couldn't name it but there was something between us. And I knew he was feeling it too.

"It look delicious." I said looking at the table he prepared. Thank god there was no candles. Thank god.

"I can see something more delicious." He said his hand brushing the curve of my ass while leaving my waist.

"Now now Barnes. Aren't you a bit fast?" Go faster and we both plus Steve will be heart broken.

"Life is short doll. I learned it by the hard way."

"You are 95 years old." I said. He gave me a small smile then held my hand.

"(Y/n). Doll. I know you and Steve were an item and because of that you feel uncomfortable with me but... I lost everything I had and now I have a mew life. And I want you to be in that new life. Please just don't push me away for nothing."

For nothing! For nothing? So noe Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America is nothing. And you want me in that new life? As what? As what? As what? Hush damn it I barely can hear him over your beathing heart.

"Bucky..."

"No. Doll don't say anything right now. Please. Lets enjoy the dinner. Lets enjoy each others company and this night. We can talk all about it. All about everything but please let me have tonight. Let me create this memories with you. I need them. I need you."

"I don't know..."

"Please." He said kissing me knuckles. His lips -soft, warm and plump lips- stayed on my skin longer than they should have and damn it made me all red.

"Okay. Lets eat. And drink. And everything we can." I said giving him a soft smile. And what I got back was fenomenal. He gave me the most handsome smile ever. Damn. He was looking like a cat. Dangerous sexy cat. Deep breaths (y/n). Deep breaths.

***

Aftet the dinner we were drinking wine. And watching some good films. Bucky was next to me and his arm was around my shoulder. I was a little drunk so I had hard times with keeping my head up. And because of this my head was resting on his firm chest. His fingers were playing with my hair and it was making me more and more sleepy every minute.

"You smell divine." He murmured.

"Not so bad yourself Barnes." I said. My words a bit more drunk than I was.

"You should stop drinking."

"But I love wine."

"I will give you more. But not tonight. Tonight you need to stop drinking and get a little slip."

"Don't kill my joy."

"I am not. I am saving you from trouble."

"I like trouble."

"Oh stop that (y/n). You are top cute."

"So I am cute?" I asked looking at him with my drunk and dreamy eyes.

"Yes you are." He said kissing my hair. I just snuggled to his chest more.

***

Fuck. My head was killing me. I opened my eyes. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Too bright. Too much light. Now I knew what Chris Brown was talking about. And dude was god damn right. I had no idea which room was this. But it really had yoo much light. And suddanly I heart an argument.

"What is she doing here Buck? Why is she on your bed?"

"I told you Steve. We ..."

"You told me what? That you had a dinner date with my girl? My girl Barnes. (Y/n) is my girl."

"She was your girl. She is not right now."

"Oh yes she is. And even if she is  not it gives you no right taking her to your bed."

"She does not belong to you Rogers. She is a person not a toy for you. So let her decide who she wants."

"What do you mean who she wants?"

"You don't really think that I don't like her do you? Hell she is the most perfect gal I had ever met. Inside amd out."

"Don't you dare to touch my gal."

"Like I said Rogers. Lady will choose."

Okay. What the hell? Since when the hottest two guys on this planet were fighting over me? It had to be a dream. Yeah I am sure this is a dream. A beautiful dream.


	4. Something about you makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two hot super soldiers guys. Two. Hot. Super. Soldiers.

It's been 3 days since I fell asleep in Bucky's room. Since the talk Bucky and Steve had. It still made me dizzy. Thinking about it. It still made me feel surreal.

"Morning doll." I heard Steve say. Yeah, both Steve and Bucky were spending every minute that was possible with me. And it was nice. A bit too much but mostly nice.

"Morning Captain." I said taking a sip from my coffee.

"May I ask your help for something?" He said. His sky blue eyes shinning with hope and kindness.

"Anything. Sure."

"Well you know Tony has a big party next week and I do need a suit. And also I am not good with shopping. Could you help?"

"Sure. Why not? When are we going?"

"After the breakfast? If you are free, of course."

"I am. Lets go after the breakfast." I said giving him a smile.

***

"What do you think about this one?" He asked showing me a black suit with dark silver lines.

"No. I think we need a dark navy one for you. You know it would look better on you."

"How about this one?" He said pointing a new suit. Dark blue one which looked classy.

"You should try this one." I said and he went for it. And yes he was looking gorgeous. The dark blue suit and the light blue shirt made his baby blue eyes pop and my heart beat faster. He was handsome. He was too handsome for his own good. 

"What do you think?" 

"You should buy this. It looks perfect on you." I said. He gave me a boyish smile and I felt the blush on my cheeks. He stepped closer and put his strong lean arm around my waist. Not too close to give discomfort but clise enough for me to feel the warmth of his body.

"I miss the times you would help me dress up you know. All the times you touched me I touched you like we belonged to each other. Like we were made for each other. I loved all of those moments. I still do. I miss them."

"Steve..." I said putting my hand to his chest. Mistake. A big big big big mistake. Feeling his muscles which I really missed and his heart beat which I would listen every night laying on hi chest. God I wanted to scream 'Take me I am fully yours. My youth is yours. My body is yours. My heart is yours.' in the middle of this shop. But... But I was thinking about Bucky. I wanted to jump on Steve and fuck him right here but also there was Bucky.

"I missed you (y/n). I missed you so much. Only god knows how many nights I couldn't sleep thinking about you. About us. I need you in my life one more time amd always."

"We can't."

"I know that Bucky likes you. And maybe you like him back but when I look into your eyes I can see you feel something for me. You still love me darling. And I love you."

"I can't."

"Can't or won't."

"Won't. Because I don't know what is this I have with you. I don't know what I have with Bucky but he doesn't deserve this. I won't break him like this. And I need time to think what I really feel for both of you."

"Take all the time you need. And I don't care who you will choose in the end but remember this I will always love you more than anyone can."

"Tell me one thing. You won't be heart broken because of this."

"I won't. You need time and I can give you all the time. I can wait (y/n). You worth waiting. But let me kiss you one last time. I know it will make everything harder for me but I need to feel your lips on mine after all this time. I need to feel them on mine always."

And I let him kiss me. His sweet and warm lips kissed me slowly like he was trying to make this moment last forever. After our short but intence kiss he kissed my head and held me for some moments.

***

"Bucky are you there?"

"I am here doll." I heard his voice coming from his bedroom.

"What are you doing there?"

"Well, my clothes were not going in my closet by themselves so I was helping them."

"Funny. Barnes. So fucking funny."

"I just did my laundry doll I am folding my clothes."

"May I help?"

"Nope. Can't use a pretty gal like you for a job like this. I got it. Sit on the bed. I am finishing."

I layed on his king size bed and watched him work. Damn he had a nice firm ass.

"Are you coming to the party?"

"I don't know." 

"You should. It would be fun."

"I am not good around people doll."

"You had no problems with me. Also you know almost everyone. Only strangers would be Stark's friends and you don't need to talk with them. I don't think any of us will."

"Are you going?"

"Yeap."

"Then maybe I will come too."

"Yay! You have a suit."

"Suprisingly I do. But never had a chance to wear."

"Here is your chance Sarge."

"So. What are you wearing?"

"A dress. Red one."

"Any more details?"

"You should come to the party for the details."

"It means I am coming to that god damn party for the details." He said giving me one of his sexiest smiles. I felt something jump around my stomach but tried to act cool.

Both Steve and Bucky would be the death of me. I knew that for sure.

***

"Looking hot Romanoff." I said watching the Russian putting on her wine red lipstick.

"Says the girl who has two hot damn super soldiers around her little finger." She said giving me a smirk.

"Oh. I am doing nothing. I have no idea why I am so lucky. Maybe I died saving a nation or two on my previous life? Maybe I was an anger?"

"You? Angel?" She smirked one brow up.

"Shut up! I need your help with my hair. I want to do a big waves. You know looking wild and natural. But I am not that talented."

"Wild for Barnes, natural for Rogers I guess."

"Oh shut up! Will you or won't you help?"

"I will do everything for you to kill your soldiers with your beauty." She said dramaticly.

  



	5. Kiss It Better.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the guest leave and only friends are left.

I felt a cold metal hand grab my head and pull me closer if it was possible. Bucky was kissing me. Hard. His hands were all over me and I was holding his shoulders because I was feeling dizzy. My god. His lips were beautiful. And his kisses... Only one person kissed me like this before and it was no time to think about this.

"(Y/n). (Y/n). (Y/n)." He was repeating my name like a prayer. And I pushed myself to his lips. He grabbed my waist and kissed me more powerful than before.

"What the fuck is happening!" I headr Steve. A very angry Steve. And suddenly Bucky wasn't on me. Because Steve pulled him from my body and now he was punching him with no mercy.

"I told you. Damn it Barnes I told you that she belongs to me. She is my girl. But what you did? You didn't stop. You never stopped."

"You lost her Cap. Now fuck off."

"I love her damn it. Can you say you love her? Can you?"

"I love her."

"I am not talking about her ass Buck. I am talking about what is inside her body. Do you love her? Not the body but the soul in it. Can you say you love her? When you don't even know her?"

"I love her more than you could imagine Rogers. More than you could try."

Bucky and Steve were beating each other. And it wasn't just a fight. They were too hard on each other and I was terrified. I could see the blood running down Bucky's cheek. And the shoulder of Steve's shirt was torn from fight.

"FRIDAY call someone. Please. As fast as you can. Send someone."

***

"What the hell?" Tony said looking at super soldiers and me. I was a crying mess and they never stopped fighting.

"It... It is becausre of me." I said. Thor and Clint were trying to stop them. But it was hard. It was impossible.

"What happened?" Natasha asked a protective hand on my shoulder. 

"Bucky kissed me and Stev saw it and... And they started fighting. God. It is all because of me. God." I said and my tears started to fall freely one more time. Natasha hugged me and kissed my hair. Tony was petting my back to calm me down.

"It is not your fault pretty. They fell for you by themselves. You did nothing wrong." He said. By then boys could stop them and Thor took Steve to his floor while Clint took Bucky. And Nat came to my floor with Tony.

"You good?" He asked me. A friendly and a bit over protective brotherly worry in his rich chocolate brown eyes.

"I think I need some time off." I said.

"Hope it won't be like last time?" Nat said.

"No for a week maybe two. I don't want to be here while so much tension is here."

"Where would you like to go? I am sure I could arrange something. Maybe you could take Widow with you so tou two will have some girl time?" Tony asked. I looked at Natasha.

"Why not? We could go to a spa resort and treat ourselves?"

"Yes. It can be good."

"FRIDAY, find a good resort for my girl and her scary friend here." 

***

I was laying in a mud bath. Someone massaging my head and washing my hair. Some nice smelling and probably very much costing mask was being applaid to my face.

After bath I had massage with Natasha.

"So... How are you?" She asked me.

"More calm than I was but when we will return a storm is waiting for me."

"I talked with Barton."

"What he says?"

"Steve and Bucky still have a tension but they train together and go to missions together."

"You think when I will go there everything will be ruined?"

"No. But you have to choose. You can't run forever."

"I love both of them Nat. I can't decide. It is not fair."

"You know both of them are hot and polyamore is a thing soooo..."

"Hell no! Fuck no! God no! How will I tell them this. Oh Steve come here and fuck me while I will suck Bucky's dick?"

"You could take him in your ass."

"What?"

"Anal sex?"

"Nat. Just shut up. Now I have very dirty images in my brain. Happy?"

"I am. But for you to be happy you need to talk with boys and tell them what you want. And what you feel."

"I don't know what I want and I am not sure about what I feel."

"Then tell them this and that you love them. Maybe three of you could figure something out."

"I am afraid Natasha. To lose one of them or worse both of them. They mean too much for me."

"And you mean too much for them. Believe in yourself (y/n). Believe in your feeling. Believe in your boys."

 

 


	6. I Can't Believe How You Looked At Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Reader and Bucky have a talk. Kind of.

"Good morning." I heard a male and very familiar voice behind me. I was fixing a coffee for myself.

"Good morning Captain. Want some coffee?" I asked. He gave me a shy boyish smile.

"If it won't be too much trouble."

"You? Trouble? We both know you can never be a trouble to me." I said bringing another cup for coffee.

"(Y/n) if it won't be a problem could we talk like right now. Maybe while drinking coffee."

"Something serious?" I asked. I could play the dumb very well. I knew what was this talk about. I was running from this talk. Bucky. Kissing. Me. God I was fucked up. Kissing my ex boyfriends best friend. Them fighting for me. It was hot for sure but also it was going to be my end. And I wasn't ready for that shit damn it. I just wasn't.

I gave Steve his coffee and he thanked me with kind and soft voice. So he wasn't as angry as I thought he would be. He was calm. Too calm. 

"So..." I said sitting in front of him. His ocean blue eyes were watching me. Nervous and a bit... I am not sure. But he was looking like a girl before telling her man she was pregnant.

"(Y/n). I know we talked about this and you told me to wait for thinking. About all the things that happened that are happening. And I tried. Believe me I did but... But I love you and I know you might not love me anymore. Not like you used to. Not like I want you to but... I need you to know I want you back. I want you to be mine because I love you so much. And... I know it is too forward but I think you are the love of my life." He said. He was looking at me with his big blue hopeful eyes. God. A few years earlier him saying this to me, I would jump at him. But right now at this moment I didn't know what to do.

"Can I be honest?" I asked. He nodded slowly.

"I love you Steve. Like I did before maybe more because now I do understand you better. I trust you better but... But I can't lie I love Bucky too. And I don't know what to do. I can't want both of you at the same time. I can't have both of you at the same time but I don't want to lose neither of you. And this is the reason I can't lose any of you. I can't imagine my life like that. Knowing I broke one of yours heart broke half of my own heart. I can't choose. Don't ask me this please."

"(Y/n), my darling girl. I just want you to be happy. And yes this will be a little bit selfish but I want to call you as mine. But if the only way it can happen is by sharing yiu with Bucky so be it. Bucky is no enemy of mine. We used to share our money, our food, our homes so I think I can share my beautiful doll with him. If it will make you happy I will be happy. If he will make you happy I will be happy. As long as you can promise me to not stop loving me I can go to hell with you."

"I won't stop loving you Rogers. I can't. I tried believe me but you are an addiction of mine."

He smiled and kissed my hand. And didn't let it go after that. I had no problem. I loved the feeling of his kin on mine. His warmth. I loved every damn thing about him. But I had to talk with Buck and fast. I needed him to tell me he loved me. Tell me we would be happy all together. Things wouldn't be as strange as I was scared they would.

***

"Buck. You here?" I asked walking in his room. It was half dark. And Bucky was nowhere to be seen.

"I am at the balcony." He said and I followed his voice. He was at the balcony. He was shirtless at the balcony. He was looking like a freaking sexy Greek God at the balcony. But then suddanly I noticed the fading purple mark on his eye.

"Oh Bucky." I said walking to him. I slowly touched his eye.

"Hurts?"

"Not as much as you think."

"Idiot."

"It was worth it doll face. You were worth it. You always will be."

"Idiot."

"You look stressed. Something happened?"

"I talked with Steve."

"Did he said something that hurt you? Bothered you? I can kick his ass any time you want."

"No. He didn't. And I love his ass. Don't you dare to hurt it."

He rolled his grey-blue eyes at me and I pecked his cheek.

"You seem happy but also nervous. It means talk was well but you are scared of my reaction at it. Are you dating that jerk? Is it that? If he would make you happy I have no problems with that. And..."

"Bucky." I tried to stop him.

"And he is a good guy. He will take care of you. And it won't change our friendship. You are too dear for me to lose."

"Bucky." I tried again.

"I know I can't be as perfect as him and I truly do understand. Damn I can't even make you as happy as he can. So..."

"Bucky!"

"What!"

"You are as perfect as Steve. And no I am not dating him."

"You are not?"

"No."

"So what did you talk then?"

"He told me he loves me and I said I love him too but I can't just go and choose between you. And I won't be happy if I would let one of you go. He said he could share me with you as long as I would not stop loving him."

"So it means. You me and him could be a thing?"

"I think so. I don't know. I am confused and I never had something like this. I love both of you very much but I can't just let one of you go. A part of my soul would be there and I can't live like that."

"I think it can happen."

"What?"

"So what if it is not normal doll? Being 96 an looking 30 is not normal. Having a metal arm is not normal. Saving the world weekly is not normal. Saving the world weekly with a frizzby is not normal. Baby girl we are every fucking thing that normal. So what if there will be two guys and a very beautiful gal together. What can they say? Why would we care? If we would be happy. Does it matter if we are happy?"

"No. I don't think so."

"I don't neither doll. And Steve is right. I could share you with him if you will promise to keep loving me."

"I can."

"Then we will talk woth Mr. Captain America and then we will be all right. Everything will be allright."

"Promise?"

"With my heart and soul." He said kissing the crown of my head.


	7. Bang My Head.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay imagine you are talking with your ex about getting together with him plus his bestie.

"Nat. I have no idea how to do this. It was a bad, very bad idea from day one and look at me now. I am going to do what? Go on a date with Steve and Bucky. At the fucking sams time! Nat!"

"Oh come on. You are going on a dare with two hot guys and you are complaining?"

"If it is such a good idea. Why are you not going?"

"Because both of them want you. And only you. They love you and your pretty face. And maybe your ass and boobs."

"No. Don't say ass or boobs. Or anything sexual. I am not ready. Even for a kiss. Because... Because I have no idea how it will happen. Fuck. How I will kiss them? Who I will kiss first?"

"Don't think this much. You will burn your brain. You will kiss both of them. And about who is first... I don't know. You will see it when the right time comes."

"God. How did I fucked my life this way?"

"Stop over reacting girly. Everything will be fine. You and your boys will be fine. Maybe you should fuck all together so you can get rid of this stress. You know, sex is a very good nerve calmer."

"I know. And no. Before sex itself will happen I might get too excited and have a heart attack."

"Yeah we don't want it. So my advice for you is. Take it easy. Don't rush things and have fun. In the end what only matters is how much fun you had."

"Sure. Nat. See you tomorrow morning."

"See you. And... Go get them girl!"

***

It has been nearly 30 minutes since this dinner date began. Everything was calm. Boys were hot as hell. And gentle as hell. Steve helped me walk on my high heels. He held my hand all the way. Bucky pushed my chair for me. Every female in the restaurant were looking at us. Nothing strange of course. Steve was looking like a prince from a fairy tale and Bucky... Well Bucky could make all the woman around him wet with just a wink. 

I was really stressed right now. And all those women were not making it easy. And male customers by the way were checking my chest and my boys were aware of this.

"Don't." I said. Two pairs of different but equally perfect blue eyes looked at me.

"They are looking at your boobs doll. No one can do that without your permission. And I clearly don't remember you giving them one."

"I don't care Barnes. I want no trouble tonight."

"Bucky is right sugar. What they are doing is no good." Steve said.

"Well boys all the women are checking your pretty asses and I have no problems with it."

"Because women are good creatures. Men are evil doll face. Men can rape women just because they want it. Just because they like what they see. And I can imagine what they are thinking or wanting to do with you. I don't like it."

"Women can do that thinking too sweetheart." I said trying to look calmer then I was feeling.

"But they won't try anything. Because they know if one side doesn't want it it must not happen." Steve said casually taking a sip from his wine. 

"I can't believe we are arguing this right now." I said. Bucky gave me a smirk.

"Well knowing you are this beautiful we should get used to stranger eyes while protecting you from their owners." He said kissing my hand.

***

I kept gigling all way to tower. I was holding Steve's hand and Bucky had his arm around my waist. Keeping me straight. I was drunk. Like, very drunk.

"We should have never let you drink that much." Steve murmured to himself.

"But is was soooo much fun!" I said.

"Hush babydoll. You are going to wake all the tower up." Bucky said kissing my hair.

"Lets take you to bed." Said Steve opening the door of my floor for us.

"Oh... Promise Captain?" I said gigling again.

"You are never aloowed to drink wine again." He said. I could see the blush on his cheeks.

"Why not Stevie? She is so cute." Bucky said. I sent him an air kiss and he just smiled at me and winked.

"Say that again tomorrow morning when she will wake up with huge headache and feeling like death. I saw that nothing cute. Scary even."

"You are breaking my little sensetive and fluffy heart."

"Fluffy heart?" Bucky asked.

"I am just worried about you darling. You know me."

***

When we arrived to my room Steve helped me take off my clothes and wear my night dress while Bucky helped me cleaning my make up. They put me in my bed and as they were about to leave...

"Stay..." I said. "We can sleep all together." 

"Are you sure darling?"

"Yeah. I want both of you here." 

And minutes later two extremely hot super soldier only in their boxers were in my bed. My head was on Bucky's naked chest and Steve's arms were all around my body.

I fell asleep listening to Bucky's heart bear and feeling Steve's calm breath on my neck. It was cozy. It was comfortable and it made me feel safer than ever.

*** 

In the morning I felt something warm on my back and something warm under my hands. Also these warm somethings were moving. Slow up and down moves. Up and down like breathing. I slowly opened my eyes but I closed them as fast as I opened and then I realized something. My head was killing me. Oh fuck. What happened last night. I groaned and one of the warm things moved. 

"(Y/n). Darling are you okay?" Steve? Oh. Oh! One of the warm things was Steve so other should be Bucky. But... What the fuck were Bucky and Steve doing in my bed. Half naked as I could feel under my hands. Stop. No. Fuck! Did we fucked last night? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. I couldn't remember a thing!

"Nothing happened sweetheart." I heard Steve whisper while kissing my naked shoulder blade. "We just slept all together. I will bring you some pain meds and then we can go back to sleep. Okay?"

"Okay." I murmured. Bless Steve and him understanding me with no talking. After few minutes he was helping me drink the meds with water. Then he kissed my temple and cuddled me while I cuddled Bucky.

I felt asleep feeling Steve kissing my neck softly.


	8. Somewhere We Can Be Alone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New boyfriends. New kisses. New memories.

"Okay. So, you Barnes and Rogers slept. Like all together. The three of you?"

"Yes Natasha. We did but it was only some cuddling and sleeping. No sex. Nothing sexual like at all."

"And?"

"And they both gave a small good morning kisses."

"Where?" She asked. I could see the curiosity in her big cat eyes.

"Lips." I whispered. I knew I was blushing. But damn... The memory was so sweet so fresh. It happened only this morning and I still was wondering if it was just a dream. Rich imagination of mine. 

"Stop. One kissed your lips and what did the other do?" She asked. I was turning in a deep crimson colour. 

"I am looking at your blush and I sure as hell want to know what the other did. Or you are telling me or I am interogating you!"

"While Bucky kissed me Steve kissed my shoulders and while Steve kissed me Bucky was biting my neck." I said. Even I barely heard my own voice. But I knew Natasha. I knew she heard everything very clearly. Fuck her super secret agent skills. Fuck her hearing. Fuck her shit eating grin on her nearly perfect face.

"Girl. You sure do get a lot of action."

"Please Nat don't. I am begging you."

She just smirked at me. And wiggled her brows.

***

"Hello doll." I heard Bucky murmur as his arms made their way around my waist and he pressed me to his strong as steel torso. 

"Hey Buck." I said. He kissed my ear and left my body but held my hand and leaded the way.

"Me and Stevie made sure we got everything you could need and everything you love. It is pretty handy that you dated that idiot." He said. Even in the 'idiot' I could feel his love towards his best friend.

"Oh shut up jerk. You would be a total loser if not me." Steve said as he walked to me and gave me a hug. He kissed the crown of my head and gave me a heart warming smile.

"Hello darling girl. How was your day?"

"Nothing unusual boys. Really. Same old SHIELD and same old also grumpy Nicholas Fury."

"Oh so you had an argument with him?" Steve asked from kitchen.

"I was right. I swear!" I said tapling my foot angrily.

Steve chuckled and Bucky gave my waist a squeze.

"I am sure you were baby doll."

"Anyway... Steve you need some help?"

"Nope. I got everything under control."

"Of course he has. He is the Captaiiiiin. Remember (y/n)?" Bucky winked at me and I laughed. Steve really had everything under control. If we had a mother in our realtionship of three it totally was Steven Grant Rogers.

"I am wondering will you two still laugh when I will leave you to hunger?" 

"We can always order pizza sugar." I said. He lifted a brow and said:

"At least it means you two are not keeping me for food."

"Of course we don't Stevie. We loooovvvvee ya!" I said. 

"Not that much." Bucky said.

"Don't be jealous boy Barnes. We love you too." I said putting my arms around his shoulders.

***

"I don't get it. Really. How can someone come back to life how many times right now? 4?" Steve asked. We were watching Supernatural. And boys just could not accept the fact that Winchesters were immortal. Well not immortal maybe. But they did not like staying dead.

"You two are not so open minded for 90 something years old who look 30 also friends with God of Thunder."

"Well we were frozen." Bucky said.

"And Thor is what?"

"Okay he might or might nor be the God of Thunder."

"Come on! Just watch the show!" I said getting comfy on Steve's chest while Bucky was using my boobs as pillow. And he looked really comfortable there. But I could not complain Steve was pretty comfortable too.

As we were watchimg TV Bucky's fingers were drawing patterns across my bare waist and Steve was playing with my haid. One of my hands was inside Bucky's soft brunnette hair and the other was holding Steve's free hand.

I was happy with my boys. Nobody knew about our relationship well accept Natasha but I knew that it was only a matter of time for them to learn. And I was a bit stressed about that. But I had faith in my boys and our three way strange love. I knew we were going to be happy.


	9. It's Been A Long Day Without You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a mission and you stay at tower with Bucky. You worry about Steve for sure but Bucky is a god damn good distraction.

"Be careful." I said watching him preparing his bag. He looked at me and gave me a smirk.

"I always am careful darling. You know me." 

"Yeah I do but... I know the enemies too so I can't stop thinking how one little mistake can make the whole mission go down."

"Everything will be perfect. I won't let any mistakes happen. From little ones to biggest."

"Be careful." I repeated hugging him from behind. He sighed and turned to face me. His big kind hands held my face and he kissed me slowly. I could feel his love. And I could only hope that I could make my love for him look so solid. Like his.

"I will come back in one piece I promise. After all I can't lose my life because you and that jerk named James Barnes is my life. You two are my family. My heart."

"I love you Steve."

"I love you too my little darling girl." He said kissing my nose.

"Promise me you won't act stupid."

"I always act stupid and you love it."

"When I am around and I can save your pretty little ass from being kicked."

"My pretty little ass will be fine thank you very much but I will miss you soo freaking much."

"Even that jerk?" I asked he looked at me with his beautiful smile and kissed my hair.

"Yes even that jerk. I promised you I will be okay now I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Be okay. Don't be too hard on yourself and look after Bucky."

"You know that I will."

"I know you will look after Barnes. What I am scared of is that you will hurt yourself too much. I know you will worry. It is okay. I would worry if it was your mission and I would be far away. Hell I am even worried now. To leave you behind but I need you to treat yourself good. Because I can never let you or anyone else hurt my best girl."

"I will try."

"I love you."

"I love you deeper." I said. He took his bag, gave me one last kiss and went to his plane. I watched him and then went inside to find Bucky. He had a mental control it had to be over by now.

***

It has been 3 days since Steve left for his mission.

"Don't put a sad face babydoll." Bucky said. His human hand finding its way around my neck he caresed my soft sensetive skin. I gave him a small smile.

"I just can't stop wondering if he is okay. If he needs us. Or anything."

"I know it is hard. I miss him too but this is our job. It is crazy but it is our job. We went on hundreds of deadly missions. You. Me. Steve. But we always came back. It is nor his first neither his last mission. And he will be allright."

"I know Buck." I said making my way to his lap. After I sat he out his metal arm around my waist and let me get comfortable.

"But you still do worry?"

"Yeah... It is just... Sometimes I think about buying and island and taking you two there. And live there our own happily ever after. You, me and Steve. You two are everything I want."

"And you are our little dream girl doll. But youvand I both know nor you neither me or Steve could live there longer than a month. We love this crazy life. We are addicted to it."

"I know but think about it. Us three all day and night long... Only for each other."

"Nice thinking but no. I love this life and you make it better. And you know it too. You love this life more than both me and Steve do."

"What?"

"Me and Captain were forced in this life by circumtances but you prefered this life style. You worked for it. You dreamed about it. It was your motivation your ambition. So it means you are more addicted to it then we are."

"But there is somethin I need and love more... And it is you two guys. I just love you two. And I can't imagine it without any of you."

"I can't imagine it without you too doll. I love you." He said pressing his soft lips to mine. My hand were tangled in his beautiful brown hair and my other hand caresed his sharp jaw line. God he was so perfect so god damn beautiful.

I moaned into his mouth when he sucked my lower lip and after making it hundred times more sensitive he slowly bit it.

"Make those sound mire doll. They sure do make a man feel like a god." He said sucking a love mark on my neck. A spot that would be noticable even from far away. A spot that I could not hide. That love mark meaned thay I bleonged to James Buchanan Barnas a.k.a. the Winter Soldier. That he could share me only with his best friend and nobody else. That if anyone would touch me or even look at me the way he would not like he would rip his or hers heart out of their chest.

"I think we should watch some horror movies to keep your pretty head free from serious topics." He said.

"I don't take horror movies well." I said. He chuckled and gave me a wink.

"Trust me pretty doll I know. Last time you held my arm so strong I had a small purple hand print for 2 weeks."

I just glared at him. It was only his and Steve's fault that we were wathing that movie that night. Nothing on me. Sorry I ain't sorry.


	10. You Promised Damn It.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve returns from his mission but not in the best way. Bucky is okay with it he knows Steve will be all right. But Reader doesn't take it well.

"They are back." I said and started running to jet pulling Bucky after me. Steve was at mission for 3 weeks and I missed him too much. Hell there were nights I could not sleep at all. Bucky made me sleep those nights. He put me in his big arms and told me stories of his past where Steve was safe and sound. 

I was so excited to see Steve after all these days damn I was running there. But then I saw medics running there too. And I felt a pain in my heart. Steve. Something happened to my Steve. Bucky's grip on my wrist thightened. He felt it too. I knew. He pulled me to himself and held me back. I was trying to get away from him. To get Steve. But he was stronger than I was. So all my efforts were for nothing.

"Let the meds do the job doll. They need to be there before us."

"But Steve!" I said. My voice could not hide my stress and horror for my Steve.

"I am sure he is okay. He is strong (y/n). He is Captain fucking America. He is okay. I am sure."

"But what if?" I said. And I couldn't hold my teara back. Damn. What is Steve was hurt. What if it was bad? I could feel tears rolling down from my cheeks.

"Hush baby doll. Come on. Steve is okay. We are okay." He said hugging me as strong as he could. I could not control my tears by now. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear as I was sobbing. I felt him lift me in his big strong arms and he carried me somewhere. I didn't care by this point I just wanted my Steve and my Bucky. Together and unharmed.

***

"How is Steve?" Bucky asked. My little hand in his big flesh one. I was numb from crying. It has been hours since they brought Steve and we couldn't see him. I was a mess. But Bucky was by my side so I felt a little more stronger.

"He is recovering. He will be okay, I am sure of it."

"Bruce. Let us see him. (Y/n) needs to see him. Look at my little doll man she is too worried. She needs to see him breathing."

"I can't yet James. I am sorry. But he needs to rest with no visitors for now. It is better for him." Bruce said. I was sitting there and watching them talk. I had no power to talk or respond. Bucky looked at me with his beautiful greyish blue eyes full of worry.

"Lets take you to our room doll face. You need some chamomile tea and sleep. Maybe tomorrow morning we can see our soldier?"

He helped me get up and together we slowly walked to our room.

***

"You sure do look like a nightmare darling." I heard Steve's voice. My head snapped and when I saw him standing at the door of our room I ran at him and jumped at him.

He chuckled and put his arms around my body.

"You scared the shit out of me." I murmured trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Hey there now. No crying. I don't want this pretty face to be sad. Come on." He said gently whiping my tears. And kissing me softly on my lips.

"You are alive." I whispered. He softly smiled and kissed me one more time.

"Of course I am alive. Couldn't let that jerk take my best girl right? You are our girl. And I am not letting him take you all to himself."

"You are an idiot."

"Yeah, might be. But I am all yours idiot."

"I still hate what you did."

"I did my job. Both of ours. All three of ours. And you know it."

"I know... I just hate to see you hurt."

"I am okay now. I am with you."

He said kissing my temple gently.

***

"You should take it easy." I said looking at Steve. He was running. Fast.

"Come on (y/n). I always run."

"But you are not always injured."

"I am good."

"Yeah. So good that 2 days ago they didn't even let me see you."

"Relax doll. He is good." I heard Bucky.

"Okay. I need some air. And you two can make everything you want. Hurt yourselves, kill yourselves. You are free." I said getting out if the training zone. I knew none of them would dare to follow me when I was this angry so I changed my clothes with no hurry. And then took my car and went shopping. I didn't take my phone. Boys could worry as much as they want. They didn't care me worrying so I wouldn't care them.

***

I took all my packets at once so my arms were hurting to much. I went to Nike, Reebok, Victoria's Secret, H&M, Forever 21 and Sephora. I bought a lot of clothes, lingerine and make up. And honestly it made me feel better for sure. But the moment I went in the living room. I met two very worried super soldiers. Whats good boys huh?

"Where the fuck were you?" Bucky shouted. I waved my bags at his face.

"Shopping. As you can see."

"We were worried." Steve said.

"And?" I asked placing my shopping bags against the wall.

"What do you mean 'and' ?" Bucky asked. I could feel his anger.

"When I worried both of you told me it didn't matter you showed me it. And now you want me to care your worries? Why boys? Why should I?"

"Because the world is different. And you are a littls brat." Bucky said.

"Repeat." I said. I was glaring at him. He was in trouble.

"(y/n). He didn't mean it like that."  Steve said realizing his friend's mistake. But Bucky was too angry to realize.

"You act like a spoiled bitch (y/n). Look at yourself! Leaving your phone at home. Not telling anyone where you are. Worrying us just because you can! Get over yourself damn it."

"I am sorry Bucky. I will leave and not worry you with my bitchy self anymore." I said and turned on my heals. Took my bags and left them there. I went to my room and locked all my doors.

Bitch they wanted a total bitch I would give them.


	11. Now You Wanna Say You're Sorry, Now You Wanna Hold Me Crying.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's POV guys. My little sweet Steve.

"Do you want to tell me why you are so silent and angry?"

"No."

"Do you want me to kick their ass who made you this angry?"

"No."

"Come on (y/n). Give me something. I can see you are angry but also sad. I can see through your pretty lonely puppy eyes. Tell me what happened."

"No Tasha. Really, nothing happened."

"But somebody broke your little fluffy heart. Tell me who and I will bring you their heart. All bloody and fresh. Maybe still beating."

I gave her a small smile and went back to think about boys. My boys. It had been 3 days since our fight and I didn't let any of them both close to me. I didn't talk and didn't let them say anhthing.

"Is it about Captain and Barnes?"

"I don't give a fuck about Captain and Barnes."

"Come on. You love both of them. Like it or not you are in love. You care too much about them."

"Not anymore Natasha. Yes, I thought they were perfect but I never thought we would become this way. I never thought we will be in this position."

"If you won't tell me what exactly happened I can tell you nothing. Because I don't know what happened (y/n). I wasn't there. I didn't talked with boys. But I would be lying if I would tell you I saw them happy or calm as always. They look miserable. You are ignoring them and you are pretty good with this Icy Queen image but be careful. Don't take that too far."

"I am not the on who took something too far."

"(Y/n)..."

"I will take a walk Natasha. See you later."

"I can join you if you want."

"See you later." I repeated leaving the room and the Black Widow behind me.

***Steve's POV***

"If you won't tell me what the fuck you did to my little friend named (y/n), I am going to cut your balls off." I heard red headed Russian glaring at me.

"We fucked up okay?" I answered.

"We? So you were two against one and hurt her emotions so bad she can't even see you. What the fuck? What happened to 'we love (y/n) more then our lives and we will protect her from getting hurt no matter what'. You will protect her from getting hurt but you two will team up and hurt her together?"

"It wasn't like that. It was bad timing, all three of us were angry and sometimes you can't control what you say." I said sighing heavily. The truth was I missed (y/n). I missed her being around and happy. I missed her being so perfect and ours. I missed every little thing. And I could do nothing.

"What happened? Exactly." Natasha demanded.

"You know I was hurt at mission. And she was worried. I didn't listen to her and pushed myself Bucky said it was okay I could take it. So (y/n) went out and told us nothing. After she returned and we were going crazy we had an argument. Bucky called her spoiled brat."

"Oh come on Steve. You dated her for a long time. You know her. You know how she reacts to situations. How could you let it happen?"

"I was worried Nat. She was gone. Her phone at home. No note or anything about where she was. I was going crazy. Did we deserve it? Yes, probably. But did we take it well? Absolutely not."

"So what now?"

"I don't know. I feel like my heart is going to stop from pain. But I also have no idea how to make her forgive us. She acts like we don't matter anymore. She doesn't care. And I am scared. Because if she will stop loving me and Bucky I have no idea what will happen to us. Damn I, we will be lost without her."

"She is more broken than angry Cap. You and Barnes had hurt her feelings, broke her heart. And the thing sheis trying to do is protect herself from getting more hurt. You two idiots are a world for her but she got hurt. And you hurt her. So you have to apologize first. And make her forgive you. I don't know how or when but you have to fix the broken before using it again."

"Using it?"

"I mean fucking and kissing. You know, whatever you crazy kids call it today." She said. I gave her a half smile and started to think about how to make (y/n) forgive us. And be happy again.


	12. You'll Love Me At Once, The Way You Did Once Upon a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is sorry Steve is too. But all of them are so in love that they can't see that this fight is so absurd. Untill a bad thing happens...

I yawned and opened my eyes slowly. It has been a while since the last time I talked with boys. I was missing them a lot. But I was right at this one and I would never take a step back. I slowly got up and looked around myself. Sun wasn't too bright outside my window, it couldn't be late but I was sure it was past 8 am.

"Miss, you have some boxes delivered in your living room." I heard AI talk. I slowly got up and walked to my living room in my Victoria's Secret panties and a huge t shirt.

There were at least 5 boxes in different sizes. Before opening them I looked for a note and found to. My name on both of them. First one from Steve and the second from James Barnes himself. Wow. What a great time to be alive. Mr. Barnes who is forever right, cocky and idiot writing me a note. 

' _My darling (y/n),_

_I know we could not speak to each other as much as I would like these days. But I want you to know I miss you. I miss you near me and Bucky. It is not that beautiful without you. It does not feel the same. It doesn't make me feel at home. We were mistaken. We were idiots but we live you. A lot. And when men are in love expectially men like us, I mean we never had a girl who is this dear to us and we don't really know how to treat you because you are the most perfect thing we ever met, we act stupid I do realize. But I want you to know that we value you a lot and me and Bucky both would rather to die than lose you._

_Always yours S. Rogers.'_

_'Doll, I am sorry. I really am. I love you. You are making me a whole after every fucking thing that happened to me and now you are away. Away from me and Stevie... You are away from home and you took home with you. I want you to know that I love you very much, I know Steve does too. And forgive me for being the idiot I am. I just.... I love you so much that I am scared to lose you. And... I just need to see you. As soon as possible. I need to hold you in my arms. To feel your warmth, your smell. I need you. And fast._

_Barnes.'_

 I read both of the notes. Steve's clean hand writing and Bucky's messy but readable one. I missed my boys more than enough but still I had my pride and they were wrong so...

I opened the first box full of chocolate and other sweets I loved it had to be from Steve. Even though there wan no note on it I knew it was from him. Then I moved to second one it was carefully packed and inside there was a small rose in a flower pot. Small, blood red rose with a tiny note:

" _I wanted to give you a flower but I wanted it to stay with you longer than a week or two. Maybe it is not as pretty as a bouquet but it will live longer and I know you will take care of it like you did take care of us. I just want you to be with us again. I love you._

_Bucky x"_

I breathed the smell of the rose deep in my lungs and it was beautiful. It was perfect.

Other boxes were full of little presents and small notes which made my heart warmer. But still I needed a real apologise so I decided to stop running away from boys. They could not apologise when I wasn't around. After having a shower and dressing up I decided to visit Natasha in entertaiment room where my boys probably were.

***

"Hey Nat." I said sitting next to her as she was watching old episodes of Forever. 

"Hi." She said. "What a shame there is no new season of this perfection." She complained.

"Which one? The show or Ioan?"

"Both!"

"Yeah I was so upset when I heard new season wasn't happening."

"Producers are idiots. So, haven't seen you around? What happened that you decided to show your pretty face to us?"

"I got bored."

"Thanks for caring so much about us oh dear (y/n)!" She said playfully.

"You are welcome." I said with a wink. Then Natasha's eyes were fixed to something behind me and a smirk formed in her lips.

"I gotta go." She said and walked away from me before I could say something. And then I felt two people standing behind me. And I exactly knew who they were.

"(Y/n)." I heard Steve's voice. With most calm expression I could make I turned to them.

"Yes?"

"Can we talk? All three of us? Somewhere more quiet?" He asked with his big sky blue full of hope eyes.

"I don't know Captain. Why would you want to talk to me? My thoughts weren't that important to any of you last I remember." I said.

"Doll, we need to talk. So please stop torturing us. Being without you is hard enough and I hate the feeling of you being so close but also so far. So please." Bucky begged.

"If you insist." I said getting up from where I sat. "Where do you boys want to have this talk?" I asked.

"We can have a coffee in that shop you like. You know with chocolate cookies."

"Sure lets go." I said and all three of us walked there. It was close to tower and it was a small beautiful cafe and shop.

After ordering two black coffe for boys and a mocha for me also a big cookie plate we sat at the corner table.

"We missed you." Steve said. Bucky was silent his metalic blue orbs watching me carefully. Memorising me.

"I missed you boys too. But I did not forgave you."

"We can see. You know all this ice queen glares and attitude." Bucky said.

"I don't think you deserve anything warmer from me Barnes. You know I am a brat after all. Your words not mine."

"I was god damn worried about you woman. I was angry with both you amd myself. You were acting reckless and I wasn't there to protect you if anything happened. I had no idea where you were."

"When are you both going to understand. I can protect myself. I can look after myself. I don't need anyone to protect me damn it. I am strong and grown ass woman."

"We know it (y/n). But still you are our very best girl and we love you. It makes us worry about you. We trust you but..."

"If you will finish that sentence with we don't trust the strangers I will punch you in your perfect teeth damn it." I said glaring at Steve.

"Okay I am shutting up. Shout at each other you and Buck. I will just sit here as the adult in this relationship."

"Sure the adult who can not accept that he is not immortal. Very mature Rogers. Very mature." I said. Rolling my eyes of course.

***

We argued and argued and argued. I don't know how many coffees were drinken, how many cookies were eaten or how long we did sit there but we solved nothing. I blamed them for not trusting me they blamed me for being reckless. And we got up all together to walk back to tower. 

It was dark. So it means we sat at that coffee shop all day long. As it was left few blocks to tower I felt someone grab me and pull me. I feel on the ground but I could kick the guy who attacked me but damn there were at least 20 people. They were attacking Steve, they were attacking Bucky and me. They had guns and we had nothing. Well Bucky had his metal arm and it made me feel a bit luckier but still they had the advantage. I called Natasha before guys got me but I had no time to explain what was happening. And I lost my phone in fight hoping Nat could understand something was wrong from the noises. 


	13. Safe&Sound.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end we all understand it was not worth it. It was not worth to waste all the time we had with each other.

*** Steve's POV ***

"Nat..." I said. She looked shaken and I had no idea what was going on. I had no odea who attacked us. I had no idea where Bucky was. I had no idea where (y/n) was. I could remember the fight. There were too many of them. And we had no weapons. All three of us were paying no attancion what was around us. All three of us were too angry. (Y/n) could call for help and I was thankfull for that. But I had no idea what was going on.

"It could be HYDRA." Natasha said.

"It wasn't HYDRA. They are not thay strong."

"Steve. They weren't 'that' strong. And I have no idea what happened to you guys that those people nearly killed you."

"We were distracted."

"By what?"

"By our anger."

"What is happening to three of you damn it? What are you doing? It was nice at the start. You were nice. But what happened that you started to hurt each other?"

"It is complicated."

"Well it is! Look at yourself. Captain America getting his ass kicked by regular soldiers. What are you doing Rogers? Where is your head?"

"Where is (y/n)? And where is Bucky?"

"Bucky has some cracked ribs they are bandaging him."

"Where is (y/n)?" I asked. Natasha looked at me with blank stare.

"Romanoff where is (y/n)?"

"Surgery."

"What?"

"She is no super soldier Cap. And she got a lot of damage. They will try to fix it."

"They will try?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean try?"

"Doctors said they are not sure id she can be fixen fully. They are not sure if she has enough power to heal herself."

"How bad?"

"Injuries or condition?"

"Both."

"Very bad. Worst I have ever witnessed. Banner and Stark are at the surgery too. To see if they can help with high tech but it is bad Steve. If she did not call me, if we weren't there fast enough she would be dead it is for sure. But right now it is bad."

"Natasha give me some god damn details!"

"Her leg, right one is broken. Really broken. I mean no crack or something it was 90 degrees bent to side. She got a lot of kickes and punches at her stomach. Inner organs are sore some bleeding. Ribs are bad. None survived without damage. Some broken even. Somebody tried to break her neck. It is not broken but muscles around her neck are injured. And last one, they hit her head against a wall, more than once. There are bleedings, skull cracks... Pretty much everything you can imagine."

"What do you think?"

My question was hard to answer. We both knew (y/n)s chances of survival were low but she was (y/n). Our (y/n). And you couldn't just say that you teammate, friend, lover was possibly going to die. When it got personal every damn thing changed.

"I don't know Steve. I hope she will be okay but... Even hoping is too damn much in this situation."

***Bucky's POV***

"How long will they cut her?"

"They are not cutting her Buck. They are trying to fix her."

"Fix what we broke." I said under my breath.

"Don't say that."

"Don't say what Steve? That we couldn't protect her? We took her out there? We were too busy in out thoughts that we couldn't see an army of attackers? We are the reason she is dying maybe dead right now?"


	14. Waking Up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is not the end but not a great beginning.

"She is waking up!" Bruce said. I looked at him. I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe it was happening. It has been 3 months since the attack. 

"Is she okay?" I said running to her hospital room. Now we were at tower. Tony and Bruce had prepared a room which could help all her needs and Bruce was lookimg after her daily.

"She is weak but she is waking up." He said. He helped her sit gently. He gave her a glass of water and helped her drink. I was watching her. Her deep (e/c) eyes were open after all those weeks and I couldn't believe. After some time I started to believe I never would be able to see those eyes ever again. 

"How is she?" Natasha asked. She just came in.

"I don't know. But Nat. Look at her she is alive. She is moving. He eyes are open. God. We need to call Bucky."

"They must be on their way back."

"Can you call him? He needs to know. It will make him feel better."

"Sure Cap. I will call him now." She said and left.

"Steve come here." Bruce said. I slowly went to her bed. She was pale from all these months of sleeping and not eating proper food.

"Hey baby girl." I said sitting next to her. I took her tiny cold hand in mine and kissed her wrist.

"Steve?" She asked me. I slowly put my arms around her body and pressed her to my chest.

"Hello darling. Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"I am not sure. A bit numb I guess."

"You will be okay darling I promise you. Buck will be here in few hours than we can take a vacation or some free time. Anything you wish. And we will do anything you want. Okay?"

"Where is Bucky?"

"He had a mission. But he is on his way back. Natasha is callimg him. To tell that you are back."

"How long did I sleep?"

"3 months. Plus 2 or 3 days. But that doesn't matter. You are here now. You are okay." I said kissing her temple slowly. 

"I feel like I can't move ever again."

"Of course you can dear. You were still for too long and your body needs to get used to moving again. But that is nothing you can't manage."

"(y/n) darling please tell me where ot hurts?" Bruce said with a calming voice.

"My legs and chest. I have a stomach ache too but I think it is because I am hungry." She answered. I sat a little further to let Bruce do his job. He checked her and changed her bandages.

"Take her to eat. No heavy foods. Some vegs maybe pasta. But no oil. Her sistem should get used to food again. She also needs some water and orange juice will make her feel better."

"Okay. Any meds?"

"No. She is okay. She just needs time to heal and get used to moving."

"Okay. Thank you Bruce. Lets go doll." I said and lifted her in my arms. She was few pounds lighter. A lot pounds lighter. But she was awake and it made me happy.

***

After some food and shower with help of Steve. Now I was resting in our room. I could remember everything. Our fight, the coffee shop and the attack. Everything was there. All the memories.

Then I heard the door opening. And a tall, dark, handsome came in nearly running. Suddanly I felt pair of strong arms around my body. One warm the other cold. I felt a big kiss planted on my shoulder. Bucky was crushing me with a hug. He was shaking. I knew he was crying. I held him. My arms were weak but I held him with everything I got. He was kissing me again and again and again. My neck, my shoulder my face he was kissing me without stopping.

"Hey Buck..." I whispered softly. He just held me closer to his warm body. 

"Oh doll. Doll." He whispered. 

"I am okay Buck. I am awake. I will be okay. I am okay. Look at me sugar. Look at me " i said holding his cheeks. His defined jaw and beautiful cheek bones under my hands. And then his beautiful blue grey eyes a little red from tears looked at mine.

"Hey Buck." I said kissing his chin. "Look at me. I am okay. I am alive." I said. His cheeks wet from tears. I pressed my forehead to his.

"I am okay."

"You are okay." He repeated.

"We will be okay." I said.

"Yeah." He said. And he slowly kissed my lips. His hands found their way to my waist and he was kissing me. Suddanly I felt a pair of soft lips on the back of my neck. Steve.

He was massaging my shoulders and kissing my neck while Bucky was holding me. Suddanly Bucky lifted me and sat me on Steve's lap. Steve just held me closer and both of them took my shirt off. I was in front of them with my blue bralette. Steve turned my head to side and he started to kiss me. While Bucky kissed my chest and stomach. 

"I love you." Both men said at the same time. 

"I love you too. Both of you." I said. And they kept kissing me.

***

After our little reunion we were laying all together. Both boys on my sides and me in the middle. I was laying on their bodies not on bed. I was in my underwear and them in their boxers. The skin to skin feeling was perfect. Their skin was so warm nearly hot. It was making me feel so safe. Bucky's flesh hand was on my stomach and Steve was caresing my butt.

"We are sorry doll." Steve said.

"Yeah. If we weren't two jerks you wouldn't be in pain." Bucky said.

"I am sorry too boys. Also you two are my jerks." I said kissing their jaw.


	15. To Make You Happy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pros of a near death experience is everybody gets how close to death you were and they spoil you more than ever.

"I know you are awake doll." I heard Bucky murmur to my neck. 

"I am sleeping." I said. I was laying on Steve's chest while Bucky was using my boobs as pillow. 

"No you are not." He said and playfully bit my collar bone. I couldn't hold the moaning. And hearing that thanks to Steve's super soldier hearing his arm around my waist thightened.

"Nice way to wake up." He said kissing my head.

"I am sleeping. Hush." I said. 

"Oh our little (y/n) is sleeping. You know what Buck? I know few ways how to wake her up. And all of them are very good."

"What about going classic Stevie? We can attack her?"

"With kisses?"

"A lot of kisses." And moments later I felt two pair of warm lips all over my body. Steve was kissing my face, my jaw and neck while Bucky was kissing, biting my stomach and hips. 

"Enough boys. Enough." I said. I was getting ticklish and they god damn knew that.

"More? I think she askes for more Steve." Said Cocky Barnes.

"Well I have no intention to stop anyway Buck." He said. 

"Come on boys. I am hungry. You don't want me hungry right? I still am healing." I said and both of them stopped.

"You always play that healing card (y/n). It is not fair." Steve whined.

"Because she is a little minx. That what she is." Bucky said biting my inner thigh. 

"I am really hungry boys." I said. One hand going in Bucky's hair other playing with Steve's jaw.

"What do you want for breakfast darling?" Steve asked kissing my fingers.

"Not sure. Maybe some bacon and eggs?"

"I will go prepare breakfast. Make sure she will stay still Steve." Bucky said getting up. I watched his boxer covered ass walk away from me. But as I was watching that Steve was watching me. He smirked and asked:

"Are you look after both of us like that?"

"Well the view is pretty good so why to let it go to air? Like you don't watch my ass."

"Oh we do honey. Sometimes we even discuss it."

"Really? And what is your thoughts about it?" I asked.

His big gand slowly cupped my ass and squezed it. 

"It is round, soft and perfect doll. Like every inch of you. Beautiful." He said kissing me softly. 

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." 

***

I was sitting on Bucky's lap as we were watching Tv and Steve had some important Captain America meeting. 

"How are you feeling doll?" He asked his nose nuzzling my cheek.

"I am good Buck. You are pretty comfy." I said wiggling my butt. He laughed and held my waist.

"I am asking about your injuries pretty. I know I am comfortable."

"I am healing Buck. I just... That night I still have no idea how they kicked our asses. I mean... Aren't we the Avengers? Aren't we the mightiest heroes."

"It was a weak moment darling. It won't happen again. And I hate that you had to pay for our weakness."

"It was mine too." I corrected him.

"But you took all the pain by yourself. We nearly lost you. There was a possibility of you not waking up. And I spent so many nights afraid to think but not being able to stop thinking either of that. What if our best gal couldn't make it? What if she will be gone forever? But then you woke up and both me and Rogers understood that no fight was worth it. No fight was more important than you. Nothing was." He said kissing my temple.

"I love you Bucky."

"I love you too doll face."


	16. This Is The Way That We Loved Like It Is Forever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been 7 years since reader and her boys decided that the relationship was serious and started living all together. They had their own life style now. Training new agents, sometimes going on missions but the most important thing doing everything together. This is a weird relationship. 3 people in it and everything bit it is a happy ending. Their happy ending. And who the fuck cares it is weird when it is perfect for them.

"Good morningn" I said and kissed Bucky's and Steve's cheeks. My hair still was wet from the shower and boys were preparing breakfast. Steve was cooking and Bucky had our coffees. We sat all together and ate in our usual and beautiful silence.

"It is my day off. I will go and buy some groceries." Steve said. "Anything special?" He asked first looking at me than Bucky we both said no.

"You have a meeting at SHIELD doll?"

"Yeah. Why you going there too?" I asked Bucky.

"Yeah. Have to report the last mission. How long will your meeting last?" He asked me.

"2 hours most." I said. I wasn't sure. It was about new agents so no one really could knew. 

"Okay. I will wait for you." He said.

"It might take longer..."

"Doesn't matter doll. I will wait." He said giving me a cute smile.

"As you wish sugar." I said and gave him a smile. After breakfast and cleaning the dishes Steve made a list and went to shopping I kissed him goodbye and went to get dressed with Bucky.

"Can you believe it has been nearly 8 years since we got together?" He asked as I was buttoning my shirt.

"We are getting old." I said. He kissed my head and said.

"At least we are getting old all together."

"Yeah..." I said and smiled. All togethern...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave kudos and comments.  
> Also I am always open for your ideas.


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